I cut out a lot from this video, because I don’t feel that I could properly display my thoughts on the situation as well as others that I’ve seen, so I put the links to all of that under all of this.
This week, I learned something. I learned how we, as a society, have a ways to go in terms of how we…handle things.
Now, I originally wasn’t sure that I was going to make this video. Mostly because I wasn’t 100% sure about what exactly was going on, I’d heard a little but, once again, I wasn’t sure. The reason that I decided to make this video is for 2 reasons: 1. I was asked to and 2. When I looked into what was happening I saw that the reactions were a little out of sorts.
Here’s what happened
Tuesday evening (March 11th) Tom Milsom’s ex girlfriend Olga, Olyusha, made a tumblr post saying their relationship had been abusive. Shortly after Hank and John Green commented on the issue.
The next day, several girls started telling their stories about bad (emotionally and/or sexually abusive) relationships with youtuber Alex Day. Wednesday evening there were also a few fake “confessions” that pointed out Dan, Phil and Tyler Oakly as rapists as well (they were all deleted and the Tyler one made a “haha it was a joke” post). Alex Day made a post called “On Mistakes” where he said he had never done anything with a girl if he wasn’t sure they wanted it (He later made a post called “On Consent” http://that-alexday.tumblr.com/post/79505198461/on-consent.)
Anyway, I learned two things. Let’s start with number 1, obviously.
Alright! Number 1! Why are a lot of people shaming and verbally abusing the victim? SHE’S A VICTIM. The last thing that we should do is further victimize the victim. She’s been through a lot, and it takes courage to face what has happened to her. The last thing we should do is condemn her we should APPLAUD HER, in fact *applaud*. Her courage encourages others who have been victimized to come forward. Words cannot describe how happy I am for all the people who, because of this, have found the courage to come forward. By BULLYING her you do the complete opposite. By doing this you further encourage the abuse of power, the abuse of fame, the abuse of other human beings, and a myriad of other things. If you think that that’s okay here’s what you should do: Back away from your computer, run far far away, and never get on the internet again. Was that rude? I’m sorry. Anyway, this is a perfect segway to…
Number 2! One thing that I see countless times is that we tend to idolize people and put them on a pedestal that is so high that we tend to think that they can do no wrong. I say we, because, even I am guilty of this at times. Is there anything wrong with looking up to people? Of course not, in fact I encourage that. BUT, it’s extremely important that we don’t forget that these people are just that…people. They’re human beings, just like you, just like me, just like the pizza delivery guy, and anyone else that you encounter. They make mistakes just like we make mistakes. And that’s what Tom did, he too made a mistake. But to act like it’s nothing and that he did nothing wrong, is terribly irresponsible. For those that look up to him and any other celebrities, say Justin Bieber, for instance, it’s important that we also HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE. Accountability helps us grow and be better people. And isn’t that what we want for those that we look up to?
What should we learn from all of this? VICTIM BLAMING IS WRONG.
If you’re a survivor of sexual assault or abuse, you can get help through RAINN, a great organization. International help.
Educate yourself on what CONSENT means, PLEASE.
Links to Background Information as to what happened
On Fandom: http://tumblr.penbitten.com/post/79362295038/tom-milsom-and-the-new-age-of-internet-fame
DFTBA Statement: http://alandistro.tumblr.com/post/79505928375/today-we-removed-alexs-products-from-dftba
Tom Milsom Rape Allegations Raise Questions About Power Relations Within Youtube Community: http://youtubegazette.tumblr.com/post/79333571871/tom-milsom-rape-allegations-raise-questions-about-power